They say John Wilkes Booth killed Abraham Lincoln, but I don’t think so. I think it was my father, the old one, who is actually to blame. I think after 70 years of pinching pennies, the old one’s vice-like grip on the president’s face has retroactively smothered Lincoln. So, It was my ...
When my sister was learning to drive, my dad would have her drive out of town. She was behind the wheel every time we went somewhere because she was learning how to drive. When I started learning how to drive, my sister was still the one behind the wheel. I’ve thought of this a lot recently, ...
I believe memory is sometimes a collective thing. Occasionally, a person will have a memory which will cause another to remember something else which will then in turn cause another to remember something entirely different. However, if all this sparks from your Ma remembering something from ...
This has been an unprecedented summer. In the last few months I have had experiences that I never imagined possible. The first being the office. So, back in 2023 me and the kid (thats Just Jonathan to those of you familiar with page four of the Chronicle) started with the paper. However, the ...
Some could call it a herculean feat. Some could call it an act of superhuman endurance. Some could call it a fat asthmatic man walking briskly up a hill and back. All would be correct. Okay, so I covered the Cruise with the Blues parade today. Easy right? No big deal? Go across town and take ...
The term 'derecho' has been thrown out a few times this week. I don't know. I'm writing this at 5 a.m. Wednesday morning, so maybe that's all the noise I hear outside. Either way, I remember the first derecho, you know the one I'm talking about. It has become like the JFK assassination; ...
One of the questions I get the most these days is: "What's your father up to?" The answer is, I don't know. The man usually leaves at the crack of dawn, and I don't see him again until he comes home in the evening. Your guess is as good as mine. The fact is, with The Old One, I think ...
I don't care how many of these articles I write; I don't think anyone ever will truly understand the inner workings of my family. I was watching a screwball comedy from the 30s the other day about a madcap rich family that was always going from one farce and insane wild antic to another. I ...
My birthday was last Friday, and to tell you this story, I have to rewind to Thursday afternoon. It all connects eventually, trust me. So, the day before, Thursday, June 26, my birthday eve, the last day of my 28th year, I wanted to take it relatively easy. One of the few things I needed to ...
Sometimes the fates align like an eclipse making a single perfect, beautiful, once in a lifetime moment. When these things happen you have to appreciate them for their rarity, and for the sheer mind-tickling wonder that it is. To cut to the chase, it is my birthday this Friday, and my sister ...