Car shopping is not often fun, but necessary. It is not a sport or a pastime. No. Car shopping is all out warfare between two lifelong enemies, the salesman, and the customer. This here, this is the story of the battle of the Jon Voight. A few years ago, it was decided that I would get a ...
He stood before me with a confidence and ease that hadn't been seen since the likes of Humphrey Bogart or Paul Newman. He didn't wear pants. He didn't need pants. He touched my nose and said, "Tickle, tickle." It was in that instant that I realized, even though I was in a room with about 10 ...
My father would be explainin' the inner workings of the camshaft as I glanced at all of the tubes and wires, the slabs of metal, and pools of multicolored liquid that made up the inner workings of the car. The old man would go on for a while and then ask me if I understood. I'd look at him, ...
Last February, I received an email. It was from the North Tama reporter, Ruby McAllister. She told me the current editor of the News Chronicle gave her two weeks' notice, and they didn't have anyone to cover the weekly Supervisor's meetings. She asked if I could cover for a few weeks and go ...
You can call it loyalty or insanity, or a combination of the two, but I've only ever had two people cut my hair. My first barber was Pat, a tall man who was ironically bald. As far back as I can remember, the man never had a scrap of hair on top of his head, just some that clung to the sides ...
I feel like I know quite a few people. I've seen quite a few things. But the things that happen to me, I happen to feel, and I've said this before, happen to no one else. If divine destiny is a thing or everything that happens to us is just fate, then somewhere along the way, someone started to ...
A few weeks ago, after reading my column, my Dad came up to me and said, "Can ya ever write about somethin' good I did?" Joking, I said, "When ya do somethin' good, I'll write about it." And, well, if you're reading this old man, let's just say this story ain't gonna earn ya a gold star, but ...
Tiptoe is too great a phrase for it, and step is just an over exaggeration. My feet move forward, one then the other, a centimeter at a time, barely leaving the ground. My hands are out at my sides like a circus performer traveling across a wire. I think this helps, but in reality, it just ...
It was around two in the morning. I was sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV. My father suddenly appeared. He had on slippers and a pair of underwear that should have been put out of their misery in the mid-nineties. He walked past me, out the front door, out the porch, and into ...
I am gonna tell ya the story of last weekend. To do this, we need to travel back a little bit. In the time of my groovy adolescence, when my peers were playing shoot 'em up games on their little Nintendos or whatever, I was playin' board games. My Ma never allowed video games in my house past ...